What does "living the simple dream" mean to me?

I always hear people from our generation saying "Ahh, living the dream" when they are doing somthing our of the ordinary - for example: sipping cocktails in a spa of a fancy resort or perhaps they post "living the dream" as the caption beneath a photo of them moving into their new $500,000+ mansion-esque home they have just mortgaged their life away for. At first I was confused by how simple my ambitions were. All I wanted was to live in a caravan and be able to spend as much time enjoying the outdoors with my husband and son, without my husband having to be at work all the time. So for me, this became my simple dream. I find myself having those "Ahh living the dream" moments when I am sitting in a natural hot spring with my husband and son, drinking a beer, ten feet away from a crocodile infested river. Now mine, my husbands and my sons life is all about chasing our simple dream.
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

When you are where you are meant to be.... things flow.

Yesterday was a strange day. It was my first day after (finally) finishing the uni term, a uni term that had damn near traumatised me. Last term I took on fulltime uni as we had settled into Kalgoorlie to work for 6 months or so and Zac had just started daycare two days a week. However - that "plan" (like many, when you become a parent) was not to be.

Zac instantly hated daycare... He cried from the moment we dropped him off until the moment we picked him up. His teachers were stressed because he seemed to be the "exception" to the whole "Oh, he will be laughing and playing (and stop crying) as soon as you're out ther door", instead - he was very consistant for a couple of weeks at two days a week. We realised this was causing him ALOT of stress and his teachers were having trouble giving him the support he needed because they simply hadn't experienced such a consistantly sad child.

This led to us pulling him out of daycare, I mean - I enjoy every moment with my son. When he is in daycare I miss him terribly. I (honestly) only sent him because it is the "thing you do" but my husband pointed out that alot of our life decisions go against that grain so if I love being with Zac and dont mind having him home full time, then why send him to daycare when he clearly isnt settling in? We believe that he wasnt settling in because of our lifestyle and always moving around, as he previously LOVED his "home-daycare" he used to attend (read: this would have been an entirely different situation if he had have settled in happily - he would still be attending now).

Thus the decision was finalised, and although my time alone went down to basically zero, my uni workload persisted. This lead to a very stressful term for me! I experienced alot of guilt because there were many times I had to just give up and sit Zac in front of the TV so that I could get some work done (those who know me know that I am the kinda mum whom is ALWAYS playing with her child and teaching him things and going outdoors with him when we are together) so this all added to both of our stress levels, which then bounced off eachother even more so.

Anyway, I woke up yesterday with no uni work and was just baffled... We got up slowly and casually, I washed some dishes, tidied the van, got ontop of the washing. Then we went and caught up with some friends we have met here in Kalgoorlie, THEN we came home... and relaxed??!?!?!?!?

..... it was BLISSFUL!

We made the bed so it was nice and neat, then layed on the bed, under the aircon and played cars, puzzles, lego, flash cards, dominoes, for hours. It felt so good to just be able to enjoy Zac again and play with him with my attention all on him. Then around 5:30 in the afternoon I took him for a big walk around Boulder while the sun started to get lower in the sky. Would you believe that after all of this attention, busy day etc. he fell STRAIGHT to sleep when I put him to bed. Wow, It all just felt so right, like it is the way its meant to be for us - like everything was flowing naturally again. (the last three weeks zac has experienced a major sleep regression, thats why this sleep "thing" has been massive for us now).

I hadnt realised how much my desire to get a qualification was affecting Zacs life. I knew I took on too much but I didnt realise how much my inability to keep up with it all was responsible for all of the massive changes Zac has been experiencing lately. With this thought in mind; life feels so blissful again. I love enjoying Zac and making the most of every second I have with him, so I am so happy to get to experience that again.

Today it has been the same, a nice relaxing morning with a little bit of housework. Then the day is ours, to play and learn together, to enjoy eachothers company and experience life together. I feel so lucky to be in a position to be home with my son all the time, I feel grateful that I enjoy his company so much and that I get to really teach him the basics aswell as about life and the world.

So today I am a little "high on life", I feel really happy, relaxed, at ease and inspired. I feel energised and ready to really be the mum I always wanted to be. I know my son would be proud of me in years to come if I could stand up and say "I singlehandedly finished a FULLTIME uni degree in just a few years, while raising my child and having a husband working extremely long hours. Because of this I was able to take on a high paying job and buy my son everything he could have dreamed of", but I know I am raising a child whom would be prouder to be able to say "my mum taught me the ABC, to read, to write, to play and how to be a good person, she was always there when I needed her and my memories are of her time, not of objects".

I feel so grateful for everything my life has brought to me. There have been some substantially tough times, but they have only intensified my desire to sieze the moment, be with my husband and son and experience a simple, happy life.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Just a few thoughts on positivity and nature.

Before we began this adventure we were different to whom we are today. There is no denying that living on the road promotes a lot of personal change and growth, as does any dramatic change in your life. We knew there would be changes, well we hoped, but we didn’t realise they would be so dramatic.
You can easily account for all of the physical ways your life will change but there is no way you can prepare for how much that will spill into the mental/emotional aspects of what makes you, you. You discover new (and sometimes old) things about yourself, you reignite passion that had been lost in routine and you let go, of many negative past experiences. I like to consider myself a spiritual or thoughtful person so read on for my interpretation of the change and growth I have experienced as a result of this adventure.
'Let it go'

For me, the “letting go” has been the most dramatic change. I was an extremely “hardened” person due to being let down by the world, many times in my short life and never truly understanding why. For someone of just 25 years of age I had experienced enough loss to last a lifetime, enough emotional and physical pain to really start to feel that the world “had it in” for poor little me (don’t we all feel that way sometimes, though?). I didn’t understand all of the bad things that had happened and I gauged my self-worth, and ability to be happy based on the negative experiences of the past.
This kind of mindset had fashioned me into a stressed, over-emotional, pessimistic shadow of the woman I hoped to be. It dictated my days, my relationships with others and my passion for life, in subtle and overwhelming ways.  Even when I was happy and content ‘in the moment’ I was aware and held back by the fact that it could all be taken away at any second and nothing was within my control.

When we moved into our van and began travelling I didn’t necessarily gain a massive amount of control that had been missing from my life. I gained an entirely new perspective and emotional response to my past. I gained the ability to “let it go”. I’m not 100% sure of what aspect of the adventure facilitated this element of growth, whether it was the actual act of downsizing and leaving everyone and everything we knew. Perhaps it was seeing a new place every day or meeting new people or all of these things combined? I know it certainly had something to do with being so close to nature.

I tend to harp on a lot about the healing power nature possesses, because I genuinely believe it played a role in my personal growth. Immersing yourself in nature is not only reaffirming but the minimalistic non-material aspect of it makes it something you can subconsciously depend on when other resources may dry up. You don’t need to control nature yet you don’t feel disconnected from your own future when you immerse yourself in it. Being able to seek out nature (by going on camping trips or picnics or even travelling Australia in a van or tent) and wander through a forest or watch a sunset over the beach provides the most simplistic form of joy and happiness.
What do you see when you look at this photo? Nothing? The outback? I see "Mundi Mundi Plains" a place where the flat lands stretch out so far that you can actually see the curvature of the earth. Seeing somthing like this certainly gives you a different perspective on the world.

For me, enjoying nature and the outdoors has been fundamental to growing as a person. When I sit on a beach and watch the sunset, or let the red sand of the dessert sift through my fingers I experience optimistic emotions and a vigour or passion for life. I feel inspired by nature and its beauty. I let go of the past and relax, physically and mentally, into the woman I am meant to be. My family and I relax and we are flooded with endorphins and energy to conquer any emotional or physical barrier. Never underestimate the positive effect that getting outside and immersing yourself and your family in nature could have on your life, your relationships and your overall happiness.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Tomorrow its my birthday so here are ten things I have learnt this year.

Tomorrow its my birthday, I am turning 25, a quarter of a centuary. Whoah! I find myself wondering how I got here, it feels like just yesterday I was nineteen years old and my life was dedicated to vodka and pubs and not much else. Now here I am, a mother, a student a wife, wow. Ive accomplished so much in my life and I am not afraid to say that. But I have to honestly say that I am as proud of myself for the years of letting my hair down, partying and not taking life seriously as I am for the years of having a child and studying a uni degree and loving a husband.


Its so easy to "blame" our downfalls in the past as the causers of the bad times right now. But ultimately without every bad experience we wouldnt have made it to the corresponding good experience. Both go hand in hand and I understand and respect that.



So, what *have* I learnt over the past year?

1) Tradgedy can and will strike at any time, it also may define your future, but it is certainly up to you whether that definition is positive or negative. Learn and grow from negative and traumatic experiences.

2)There is beauty in everything and every person, but somtimes you have to look a little harder than others. When you do look a little harder (and perhaps work a little harder to see it) you'll see it in an even more beautiful light than others before you.

3) Children. Know. Everything, they truly do. I mean - everything about how to be happy. If your a mother an aunt an uncle a grandparent - WATCH and learn from the juniors. They can teach you so much about the beauty of the world and finding simplistic joy even when everything seems bleak.

4) No matter how hard you try to be original, you will always find someone just like you. Thats not a bad thing and thats not somthing that you make you "try harder" to be different. You should take comfort in sharing your interests with others.

5) Your family, although you are genetically programmed the same as them, you WILL grow into your own person. You will end up making choices they dont like and vice versa. There comes a point in your life where you have to actively choose to accept or reject them and when you make that choice you must be prepared to live with the consequences and take the good with the bad. Regardless of which option you choose.



6) We should let children, be children, why they are still children. We all grow up so fast and once your childhood is over it really is. I understand that decisions we make for our children now COULD impact there future in all sorts of ways but if every choice you make for your child is born of love, compassion and keeping them safe - you really cannot go wrong. Let children be children, dont push them and frighten them. Let them enjoy those 15 or so years before the *real world* starts.

7) My husband will always do things that piss me off. Its upto me to choose which ones of those are worth arguing over - otherwise we would always be arguing. This year I have learnt ALOT about how it isnt always best to get my own way. I have learnt alot about stepping back and letting others make the choices and pave the way. Ive learnt to let things go, small things like the washing ending up next to, as opposed to IN the basket. Who care's?. Once I almost left my husband over him not washing the dishes, honestly. I made it such a big deal in my head "he isnt washing them because he doesnt love me" (somehow I moulded it back to that idea. Honestly, how would one explain that kind of a decision to their child down the track? Especially considering I love pretty much everything about my husband and Ive never met a person Ive had more laughs and fun with. Gosh, let things go. Let it be.

8) There is so much more to life then dollars and cents. My husband now works entirely to save enough so we can then (not work) and live poor, in our caravan, by a beach somewhere. We always have enough saved for emergencies, for our son, for our bills etc. Thats all we need. If you consider every moment your partner misses out on with his family (or perhaps every moment you miss out on) because of work commitments, consider each moment as a dollar. Then you will spend your dollars alot more carefully. Stand at the register and look at that set of candle holders in your hand and think "These may make the mantlepiece look pretty but nothing is quiet like listening to my husband giggle in the backyard with the kids".

9) You always have to miss someone to have what is RIGHT for you. It will hurt, leaving people and watching people leave you but you cannot follow someone elses journey or stay behind from your own just for the people you will miss. It hurts us, alot, being away from our families year round, but this journey is what we want and we have to focus on that. We also are liberated by the fact that we have the ability to hitch the van on the back of the ute and drive to where they are for a few weeks if we really need to see them.

10) Life. Goes. By. FAST. with every birthday I am baffled at how fast that year came around. You cant stop it, you cant slow it down. All that you have the ability to do is to fill each minute with more joy, each hour with more fun and each day with more love. The more you utilise those moments the less robbed you will feel when another year has passed by. Make the most of every moment. In big and small ways.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Introduction and "About me".

The red line is our trip so far over about an 8 month period
Hi guys (or "no-one" considering no one knows about this blog and I've just made it, lol).

This blog wont be about much specifically it will mostly be about everything and anything to do with my life.

Sometimes I will post weird, seemingly "hippy-esque" posts about positivity and mindfullness. Other times I will post things about domesticity, budgetting and cooking. There will be alot of times when I post about simplifying your life, getting rid of things and downsizing. There will be a heap of stuff about my simple life - living in a caravan with my husband and our three year old son, travelling Australia slowly. Occasionally ill post about my never ending quest to lose weight. Some days I might feel like writing about my pet guinea pig and other days I might feel like writing about my family. Either way - there will be somthing for everyone but everything may not always be "your thing".

A bit about me?

Okie doke;

My name is Mel, I'm 25 years old I'm currently studying a Bachelor of Applied Social Science, to become a counsellor. I live in a caravan with my husband, Brent - whom I have been with for over five years and our three year old son Zac, Oh, and our little guinea pig "Pepper George". We moved into our caravan nearly a year ago after my husbands lost his father and younger brother to a fatal car accident. We realised life was far too short to sit around waiting for the right time to do take this adventure. So far our trip around Australia has been a healing, reaffirming and downright fun experience but we still have alot left to see.

Every day we spend on the road makes us more certain that we never want to give up this lifestyle, so I really cannot see us "settling down" indefinately for a long time. We are currently stopped in Kalgoorlie (central WA) for 6 months to a year to save so we can travel for another 6months (possibly a year) and after only two months of being here we are already super keen to get back on the road and see some more of this beautiful country.

I am a fulltime "Stay at Home Mum" to our little boy, as well as a full time student (via correspondence) I also endeavour to cook everything we eat from scratch and avoid takeaway and eating out as MUCH as possible. My husband workd 7 on 4 off and while he is at work for the seven days he does 84 hours of work. So we are both extremely busy and active. I have recently become an avid budgeter and am trying to "frugalise" our lives as much as possible in an attempt to expand our savings as MUCH as possible (and as fast as possible) in order to extend our time on the road without my husband having to work.

I will include a photo that explains our journey so far which was done in a VERY fast 8 months, so obviously we missed alot and have alot of plans to travel and retravel AND retravel again alot of the same places to see things we missed and to re-explore things we loved. The red line on the image is our trip so far.

My husband and I at Ayers Rock in N.T




Also this link ( http://feelingasfreeasabird.blogspot.com/ ) is for our "travel blog" the blog we updated on our way around Australia. It did however end just before we arrived in Darwin, as the second part of the trip was done extremely quickly so I do have a few updates to add. I will add the rest of the trip from Darwin to Kalgoorlie once I go onto uni holidays and have a bit more time on my hands, until then anyone interested is welcome to go there and read back through the entries and look at the photos.